the most beautiful smile

It has been SO long since I last wrote!  There are no reasons as to why I have disregarded this blog, perhaps the main one would be laziness :(!!  Lately, I feel like I don't take the time to sit down and seek God's face.  I just read Hannah B's blog, and yes, even in the mundane, God is there, and what a beautiful truth that is!  That the everyday no longer IS mundane because the Creator, the lover of my soul shares in every moment with me.

Although these past couple weeks I've been struggling with one issue in partcular (my relationship with Lindsay), God has been shining His light in my life.  His light, to my astonishment, has been radiating so brightly, that it has been illuminating and warming my hardened heart.  He used a woman named Mrs. R, and her beautiful smile to reach deep into my soul.  When I think about Mrs. R, I praise God because even though she cannot speak (she can only say a couple words, and she perseverates too - repeats words and motions). I can sense that she knows she is loved, and conversely, she is able to express her love for others.  Even though she only has one measily hospital gown on, she proudly sports a "Jesus loves me" bracelet.  The Word lies close to her bedside.  Her family prays powerful, anticipatory prayers, expecting that in Christ's name, a miracle will happen to resotre Mrs. R back to health.  She used to be fully functioning before several compounded health complications arose. 

Every time I visit her, no matter how clouded my mind is, and how heavy my heart is, I feel that her smile takes it all away.  God is leading me to really care and love for this elderly woman - who is essentially a stranger to me!  I'm learning how beautiful LOVE is!  I get to go into the room and serve her - do functional transfers, puff up her pillows... but more deligtful to me, is that I get to stroke her hair, rub her cheeks, hold onto her hand, and tell her she's beautiful! 

Today she moved out of the wing and I can no longer see her.  I was sad initially, but Mrs. R is pushing me to trust and rely on God, and to pray big - to pray for miracles.  Today as she was holding onto my hand (she has a really strong grip!), I looked into her eyes and thought, "I'm praying for you Mrs. R."  And to my surprise, she looked at me, smiled, and nodded.  Tears welled up in my eyes, and I knew that God was intervening for us, allowing us to communicate, to express our love and appreciation for one another. 

My wish is that I could visit her daily, to hold onto her hand and pray over her.  Since I was serving her as a health professional, it's not ethical for me to be so involved.  So here again, Mrs. R is teaching me to love from afar, and to continually pray.  When I was saying goodbye to her, she gave me the biggest wave, where the whole arm kept on moving up and down (perseverations again...). 

God, thank you that you have created Mrs. R in your beautiful image.  She indeed is so beautiful, beyond any words of mine can express.  She has melted my hardened heart, and through her smile, I am reassured that you ARE GOD, and that you work for the good of all your children.  I pray for a miracle to happen in Jesus' name, a miracle that surprises all professionals involved in her care.  Amaze us Lord.  I pray in Jesus' name, Amen.

Please, if you get to read this post, please partner with me in praying for Mrs. R.  Thank you loved ones :)